my philosophy.
I’m not here to fix you.
I’m not here to make you more “functional.”
And I don’t believe the problem is in your brain.
Below you’ll find some of the main tenets of my coaching and teaching philosophy.
As an autistic peer-support coach, I work from a different starting point.
The problem isn’t you - it’s the world you’ve had to survive in.
A world built on neuronormative, ableist expectations that punish difference, reward performance, and pathologize survival.
A world that tells us we’re too much, too intense, too sensitive, too slow, too weird - until we start to believe it just in order to survive.
I don’t teach autistic people to perform better.
I help my fellow autistic people to stop performing.
i’m an autistic peer-support coach because i’ve lived it.
I’m not offering advice from a clinical distance. I’m not trying to fix you.
I’m an autistic coach and disabled peer who’s been through burnout, masking, shutdowns, meltdowns, medical dismissal, and the long slow work of rebuilding.
My work as an autistic peer support coach is rooted in lived experience and rigorous analysis. I walk beside you, not above you.
I believe that autistic humans are the experts of our own experience.
My role isn’t to give advice or answers - it’s to help you ask the right questions.
To unearth what was buried under years of shame, performance, and self-doubt.
To build sustainable, honest, liberatory ways of being in the world.
We’re not broken.
We’re disabled - by systems that don’t meet our needs. And being disabled isn’t a bad thing. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or about.
As an disabled & autistic coach, I help people understand those needs, reclaim their rhythms, and stop trying to “overcome” their nature.
I don’t work toward normalization. I’m not here to teach you how to simp for neuronormativity.
I work with you to develop a life of sustainability, self-trust, and systemic resistance.
autistic masking Is not hiding - it’s performing for survival
We show people how to treat us by showing them our masks.
That’s the tragedy.
Masking isn’t about hiding a “real self.”
It’s about performing a version of self molded by fear, coercion, and longing.
Masking becomes toxic when people only know the mask and we believe ourselves to be our masks.
It erodes relationships.
It builds a hologram - and when you can’t keep it up, you feel like you’ve failed everyone.
Unmasking isn’t a reveal. It’s a reintegration.
It’s about building a life where your needs can be met, not dismissed.
It’s slow, intentional, and rooted in both self and community care.
I don’t push people to override that resistance.
I help you listen to it.
We unpack the task, the context, the story underneath.
We stop moralizing energy patterns.
And we build systems that work with our bodies and brains -
Not against them.
meltdowns are communication
Meltdowns aren’t childish.
They’re not immaturity.
They’re not bad behavior.
They’re not a moral failing.
They’re the moment the system can’t hold anymore.
The point where our self-regulation breaks under pressure.
Meltdowns aren’t moralizing events.
They’re information.
They tell the truth about what’s unsustainable.
What’s gone unmet.
What’s been pushed past capacity.
I don’t coach people to stop having meltdowns.
I help people build lives where we minimize our meltdowns and learn how to care for ourselves in their aftermath with grace.
And where they’re met with care, not shame.
burnout is a collapse, not a flaw.
Burnout isn’t just stress.
It’s not tiredness.
It’s collapse.
Burnout is what happens when your bodymind finally says no.
After years of masking, misattunement, performance, and unmet needs.
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means you’ve been carrying too much for too long.
Recovery doesn’t mean going back to how things were -
because that life caused the burnout.
Recovery means building a life that won’t drain you and honors your autistic self.
regulation requires healthy and affirming relationships.
Self-regulation matters.
But it’s not enough.
Our nervous systems aren’t built for isolation.
We need co-regulation.
Community.
Care.
Shaming people for needing others isn’t motivational.
It’s ableist.
We heal in connection -
not by pretending we’re fine.
language shapres how we grow and heal.
Words aren’t neutral.
They carry power.
“Lazy”
“High-functioning”
“Maladaptive”
“Dysfunction”
“Meltdown”
“Unmask”
They all erase context and pathologize survival.
I don’t teach people to perform acceptable versions of themselves.
I help them name their experience in language that feels honest and true.
It’s not about being a gatekeeper or a semantics nerd.
It’s about unlearning the neuronormative gaze.
Language should liberate, not control.
We speak ourselves into clarity -
not compliance.
how i hold space.
I’m not the authority at the front of the room.
I’m a learner too - just like everyone else.
I’m a disabled, autistic, marginalized person - just like you.
We question.
We speak openly.
We don’t do passive-aggressive.
We unlearn (and learn) together.
My spaces don’t center neurotypical comfort and standards.
We don’t perform professionalism or politeness in a neuronormative way - but in an autistic way.
We center truth, clarity, and safety.
I use clear guidelines to keep everyone accountable and protected -
Not to control people, but to make the space real and affirming for as many as possible.
This is radical pedagogy:
Autistic-led, relational, direct, and transformative.
Because that’s what real learning - and real healing - requires.
this is autistic peer-support coaching.
This isn’t therapy.
It’s not “life coaching.”
It’s not about compliance, productivity, or independence.
This is autistic peer support -
rooted in honesty, relationship, and rest.
If you’re ready to stop performing -
To stop shaming yourself -
To start building something that actually fits -
I’d be honored to walk alongside you.