Masking, Unmasking, and the Performance of Safety

This stop on the Autistic Liberation Tour is about something many of us live every day but rarely get space to name: masking. The survival strategy. The performance. The habit that became identity.

Masking isn’t just about suppressing stims or pretending to make eye contact. It’s the slow erosion of self that happens when we’re forced to prioritize other people’s comfort over our own truth. It’s the version of us we built to survive—out of fear, love, longing, and necessity. And it’s exhausting.

In this 2.5-hour in-person seminar and discussion, I’ll guide us through what masking really is, why we do it, and how to begin unmasking in ways that are sustainable, rooted in our needs, and grounded in real safety. Together, we’ll explore the difference between survival strategies and identity, the emotional cost of being “palatable,” and how to stop performing safety and start building it.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re both too much and not enough—if you’ve learned to scan every room before you speak—if you’ve been praised for coping when you were actually collapsing—this space is for you.

Let’s talk about what it means to be seen without having to disappear.

The seminar will be held on Saturday, January 31, 2026 from 19:00 – 21:30, followed by an optional social hour afterwards at the seminar venue.

For those purchasing Deep Dive Circle tickets, there will be a smaller, more intimate in-person discussion circle held the next day on Sunday, February 1, 2026 from 14:00 – 16:00.

When tickets go on sale, I’ll update the community about where the seminar will take place—rest assured it will be fully physically accessible, centrally located with strong transport links, quiet, and softly lit. If you have any specific access needs, please reach out.

There are multiple ticket tiers available because I know that many of us disabled people are navigating deep financial precarity. I want this seminar to be available to as many people as possible.

If you’re able to pay more, your ticket directly funds someone else’s attendance and supports the work I do—not just on tour, but through free offerings and sliding-scale spaces all year round. If you’re not in a position to pay right now, you’re still welcome at the seminar with open arms. Please email me to request a free ticket—no explanation needed, no barriers, no shame. While free tickets can’t be guaranteed, every possible effort will be made to accommodate everyone.

I want to give as many free tickets as possible. That’s the goal. But this tour has real costs—venues, travel, support—and I’m also a disabled person making this happen. The more people who are able to pay at the higher tiers, the more free spaces I’ll be able to offer. That’s why there are both supporter and deep dive ticket options: they make the whole thing more sustainable. And for those somewhere in between, low-cost community tickets are available too.

If you choose a Deep Dive Circle ticket, you’ll join me and a small group the day after the seminar for a quieter, more intimate session. These gatherings are 2 hours long and food and drinks will be served. It’s not a Q&A or a coaching session—it’s a space to slow down, reflect together, and connect beyond the crowd. If you’ve wanted to sit with me in person and explore these ideas more deeply, this could be a great opportunity.

We build access together. Always.